Spiritual Discomfort in the Body

This may seem strange how this and the last post contrast but oh well maybe it will make sense.

I met a Godly girl, kinda sorta asked her out (long story), and she let me know she was not interested in dating due to circumstance.

Awesome right? yeah I thought so too...

The thing that stuck with me while we had this somewhat pre-encounter dtr is that she explained why dating was "not on her radar". She essentially said since she is moving out of this area and kinda getting a real job and moving out of her comfort zone she is ready to experience God in a new way. She elaborated that her relationship with God had always been comfortable and that she felt a sense of necessity for God to challenge her with her following Him even when the journey was uncomfortable. In short, she conveyed she was looking forward to God growing her through a difficult season.

She said this and I for a moment disconnected from the phone conversation...

Immediately my heart went back to high school and the times I had asked God to grow me and stretch me through trials because my relationship too was always comfortable and easy with God

Then it happened two years ago in college where everything began to self destruct and spiritual and emotional depression set in as my world kinda collapsed.

I began to wonder if this girl really sees how difficult this time can be. I began to without thinking say things to myself like "if she only new my story" and "God please guard her faith and not let her break under the pressure, but strengthen her I don't want her to live through the failures and scares that I had to endure." Is that a healthy prayer? Not sure? but regardless your will be done Lord.

I kinda just said a silent prayer in my heart there at that gas station as she was explaining this in more detail and elaborating with excitement.

As for me. I just need to not strive for blamelessness, but BE blameless. Be a man, a man after God's heart, building His kingdom and making Him known.

Praise You Jesus
Praise You Lord
For the gift I can't afford